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Kissing a Pig Quest

Written by Sir Rickard

Type: Regular quest
Level required: 0
Location: Thais
Premium: No
Reward: Firlefanz
Duration: Long (> 2 hours)
Notes: You will need to make all the seals of Banshee Quest to be able to get the kiss from Banshee Queen.




Creatures

Bug
Bug
29 HP
18 Exp
Bear
Bear
80 HP
23 Exp
Goblin
Goblin
50 HP
25 Exp
Ghoul
Ghoul
100 HP
85 Exp
Stalker
Stalker
120 HP
90 Exp
Ghost
Ghost
150 HP
120 Exp
Witch
Witch
300 HP
120 Exp
Slime
Slime
150 HP
160 Exp
Monk
Monk
240 HP
200 Exp
Demon Skeleton
Demon Skeleton
400 HP
240 Exp
Giant Spider
Giant Spider
1300 HP
900 Exp
Banshee
Banshee
1000 HP
900 Exp
   

Quest guide

Cutting Grass Skills


To start this quest you will need to get to Hoggle close to Thais bridge, here:

map


You will find him to floor +1. Talk with him like this:

Chatlog
You: Hi
Hoggle: Welcome to my humble home!
You: Garden
Hoggle: My garden is full of wild-growing plants and my back is aching like hell. Perhaps you are interested in cutting these pest plants ...
Hoggle: I'll give you 5 shiny pieces of gold for this job. Is this a deal?
You: Yes
Hoggle: Excellent. You will have to rattle at the garden gate a bit to get it open, it's quite old, you know. Tell me about the garden when you are finished.
You: Bye
Hoggle: Good bye.

Now go downstairs. You will see a door with a blinking handle. Cut all the swamp grass until you get to this spot. You will advance in lawn mowing.

screenshot


Now get back to Hoggle and talk with him like this:

Chatlog
You: Hi
Hoggle: Welcome to my humble home!
You: Garden
Hoggle: I hope you were diligent and accurate. Here is your gold. Don't spend it on alcohol or tobacco!
You: Bye
Hoggle: Good bye.


Saving Caramellia


Now you will need to get to the Femor Hills Tower (the one with swamp grass). First get to the ramp near Ab'Dendriel, here:

map


Now follow this map:

map


After that follow this map (Bears here):

map


Now just go to the east. You will see some swamp grass near the tower. Just use your machete here.

screenshot


Now go to the top of the tower and talk with Caramelia. Talk with her like this:

Chatlog
You: Hi
Caramellia: Hello.
You: Winfred
Caramellia: All is lost. With Winfred dead, my love has died and I am only an empty shell without hope or purpose.
You: True love never dies
Caramellia: Those were his words, weren't they?
You: Yes
Caramellia: Yes, it's true, he is so right. As long as I remember the love and happiness we shared, neither love nor my beloved will be truly dead ...
Caramellia: They will always have a special place in my heart. Thank you stranger, for reminding me about it. Know that life is like a kiss of lovers ...
Caramellia: It's about sharing emotions and feelings, it's about knowing that you are not alone but belong to something greater, something more beautiful ...
Caramellia: Keep this in mind and your life will improve and so will your kisses.
You: Bye
Caramellia: Good bye.


Improving Kissing Skills


Now you will need to improve your kissing skills by letting other NPCs learn you how to kiss. There's no special order of which NPCs to talk with. After each NPC you can go to the Pigs in Thais to check your points. Here's the location of the pigs:

map


It's not necesarry to go to the pigs to check the points. You can talk with the pig like this if you want to:

Chatlog
You: Hi
pig: Oink.
You: Kiss
pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss?
You: Yes
pig: Uhhh. Well, that was ... promising. But you are FAR from being the best kisser in the land.
You: Bye
pig: Bye.

Elvith

If you want you can start with Elvith. You will find him in Ab'Dendriel, here:

map


Talk with him like this:

Chatlog
You: Hi
Elvith: Ashari player.
You: Kiss
Elvith: I will not share the secrets of kissing with someone not worthy. Impress me! Write a good love poem and then show it to me ...
Elvith: You can buy poetry parchment at the Thaian embassy. Use an inkwell on it to write a poem.
You: Bye
Elvith: Asha Thrazi.

You will need to buy Poetry Parchment from Olrik, you can find him here:

map


Talk with him like this to buy Poetry Parchments:

Chatlog
You: Hi
Olrik: Greetings, player.
You: Poetry Parchment
Olrik: Do you want to buy a poetry parchment for 60 gold?
You: Yes
Olrik: Here you are.
You: Bye
Olrik: Farewell.

You will need to manage to use Inkwell on the Poetry Parchment 4 times. The first time there won't be any orange text. You will need to manage to make it right 3 times more:

screenshot


screenshot


screenshot


But you might either not get any ideas or fail.

screenshot


screenshot


If you fail just buy a new Poem Parchment and do it again until you manage. Get back to Elvith with your completed poem and talk with him like this:

Chatlog
You: Hi
Elvith: Ashari player.
You: Poem
Elvith: Do you have a love poem that might impress me?
You: Yes
Elvith: You are a pure genius! You should really consider writing a few songs for me. It's a pleasure to share my little secrets with you. So listen .
You: Bye
Elvith: Asha Thrazi.

Now if you want to check your points from a pig talk with it like this or just go to the next NPC at once:

Chatlog
You: Hi
pig: Oink.
You: Kiss
pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss?
You: Yes
pig: Mhmm. Nice try. You definitely have some experience but you should improve your skill DRASTICALLY.
You: Bye
pig: Bye.

Lynda

Now get to Boozer in Venore, you can find him above the depot:

map


Talk with him like this (buy Venoeran Ice Cream):

Chatlog
You: Hi
Boozer: Welcome to the Hard Rock Racing Track, player.
You: Buy Venorean Ice Cream
Boozer: Ah the sweet Venorean ice cream. Just the right thing to make a day at the racing track even more enjoyable! Do you want to buy an ice cream for 10 gold?
You: Yes
Boozer: Here it is. Be careful it will last only a few minutes in this climate. Better eat it at once.
You: Bye
Boozer: You'll be back.

Now, the ice cream melts fast, so parcel it to Thais to avoid this, then go to Thais yourself and pick up the ice cream from your depot and go back to Lynda.

map


Talk with her like this:

Chatlog
You: Hi
Lynda: Welcome in the name of the gods, pilgrim player!
You: Venorean Ice Cream
Lynda: Are you saying you have ... some Venorean ice cream for me???
You: Yes
Lynda: Oh, that is marvellous. Thank you very much. You know, I just LOVE ice cream! Of course it can't be compared to the love to the gods ...
Lynda: To truly love is pure happiness of heart and soul.
You: Bye
Lynda: Good bye, Player. May the gods guard you, my child!


Now if you want you can check your point by talking with a pig (or continue with the next NPC at once).

Chatlog
You: Hi
pig: Oink.
You: Kiss
pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss?
You: Yes
pig: Mhmmm. Oh my, you have learnt a few tricks indeed. But it takes more to become the best kisser in the world. FAR more.
You: Bye
pig: Bye.

Zebron

You can find Zebron below Venore depot. Here's the location of Venore depot:

map


Talk with him like this (simply let Zebron roll the dice until you win 3 times in a row):

Chatlog
You: Hi
Zebron: Greetings, high roller. So you care for a game, player?
You: Kiss
Zebron: Ah, love is the most exciting game of all. I've learnt a few tricks of this game, too and I might share them with someone worthy.
You: Worthy
Zebron: If you want to learn my kissing secrets, you will have to beat me in a game of dice first! Your bet is 25 gold a game, beat me 3 times in a row and I will tell you all my little secrets. Are you interested?
You: Yes
Zebron: You win with # over #. You'll keep your 25 gold this time. Are you ready for another game?
You: Yes
Zebron: You win with # over #. You'll keep your 25 gold this time. Are you ready for another game?
You: Yes
Zebron: You win with # over ". I'm mildly impressed. You've beaten me 3 times in a row, so what? Oh well, now listen to my secrets: . Interesting,isn't it?
You: Bye
Zebron: Hey, you can't leave. Luck is smiling on you. I can feel it!

#= Number six or lower.

You can check your kissing skills if you want or just continue with the next NPC.

Chatlog
You: Hi
pig: Oink.
You: Kiss
pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss?
You: Yes
pig: Mhm Uhhh. Not bad, not bad at all! But you can still improve your skill a LOT.
You: Bye
pig: Bye.


A Dwarven Ghost

You will need to get to Budrik in this dwarf mine:

map


After you went down get to Budrik here:

map


Talk with him like this:

Chatlog
You: Hi
Budrik: Hiho, hiho player.
You: Pick
Budrik: You brought the picks?
You: Yes
Budrik: Not the best craftsmanship but they'll do. As promised I grant you permission to enter the Grothmok tunnels. Good luck.
You: Bye
Budrik: Bye, bye.

Now get to Grothmok tunnels. First get to the hole here (Dwarves and Rotworms on the way):

map


Now follow this map (Rotworms and Dwarves here):

map


After that just go down again. Now follow this map (Poison Spiders, Dwarf Soldiers and Dwarf Guards here):

map


Now follow this map to reached the door with the blinking handle (Dwarf Guards here):

map


Just go west until you reach "a dwarven ghost" (Ghosts on the way). Talk with him like this:

Chatlog
You: Hi
a dwarven ghost: Do not disturb the dead for nothing, mortal.
You: Kiss
a dwarven ghost: My secrets about kissing have died with me. I alone know them, so they are well kept ... But ... thinking about it ...
a dwarven ghost: Not all of my secrets are really well kept. There is one thing you could do for me, mortal. One favour by you to gain a favour of me.
You: Favour
a dwarven ghost: I don't want the legend about myself to be ruined. Therefore, I need you to do something for me. Go to my quarters in Kazordoon ...
a dwarven ghost: In my drawer you will find ... a false beard ... don't ask any questions mortal! Light the coal basin in my chambers and burn the damned beard in it ...
a dwarven ghost: If you are done, forget that you have ever entered my quarters. Come here and I will tell you what you want to know!
You: Bye
a dwarven ghost: Death will find you, too.

Now you will need to get a Fake Beard. You will need to get a Fire Bug first. If you got a Fire Bug you should get to Kazordoon depot to follow the next maps. Follow this map first:

map


After you went up go up once again and follow this map:

map


Now follow the next map and go up again:

map


Now follow this map to reach the door with the blinking handle:

map


Take the fake drawrven beard from the box.

screenshot


Use the Fire Bug on the coal basin and use your fake dwarven beard on it and burn it.

screenshot


Return to a dwarven ghost and talk with him like this:

Chatlog
You: Hi
a dwarven ghost: Do not disturb the dead for nothing, mortal.
You: Beard
a dwarven ghost: Indeed, you have served me well. Now my legend is preserved once and for all. I will grant you the knowledge that you are seeking. Hereby, I pass a portion of my knowledge to your mind ...
a dwarven ghost: Ahhh, it's done. Now you know as much about kissing as I did during my lifetime.
You: Bye
a dwarven ghost: Death will find you, too.

You can go check with the pig if you want to.

Chatlog
You: Hi
pig: Oink.
You: Kiss
pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss?
You: Yes
pig: pig: Mhm. Ahh. In ... incredible ... but ... I fear there's still something to learn for you.
You: Bye
pig: Bye.

Toothless Tim

You can find Toothless Tim in the secret bar in the Carlin Sewers. First go down to the sewers at this place:

map


Now get to the bar here:

map


You will need to drink 3 Beers or another kinds of alcholic liquids and then talk with Toothless Tim like this:

Chatlog
You: Hi
Toothless Tim: Greetings my friend. What a splendid day we have, don't you agree.
You: Kiss
Toothless Tim: Ah, the joyous art of kissing is a sophisticated thing indeed. In my youth I enjoyed the delights of kissing with a few fine ladies. Would you like to learn more about kissing?
You: Yes
Toothless Tim: I could tell you much about kissing but I rather show you how to kiss properly. Are you prepared?
You: Yes
Toothless Tim: Mhmmmm. You don't kiss bad for a guy.
You: Bye
Toothless Tim: Good bye my dear friend.

Now get to the pigs or to the next NPC at once.

Chatlog
You: Hi
pig: Oink.
You: Kiss
pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss?
You: Yes
pig: Ahhh. That was really nice. But you STILL lack the refinement of perfection.
You: Bye
pig: Bye.

The Queen of the Banshees

This needs only to be done if you haven't done Banshee kiss (7th seal of Banshee Quest). Before being able to get this kiss you will need to have done all seals of the Banshee Quest. See how to do them here.

Now after you done it or if you allready done it you should get to The Queen of the Banshees. The easiest way of getting to her is from the Isle of the Kings. You will need to get access there by making Family Brooch Quest. Now get to Isle of the Kings. You will need to get to the Deeper Catacombs from here:

map


If you don't got access to there then talk with Costello nearby about Brother Fugio and he will make you get access to the catacombs. Now follow the next map (Skeletons here):

map


Follow the next map (Skeletons and Ghouls here):

map


Follow the next map to reach floor -4 (Ghouls here):

map


Follow the next map (Ghouls, 1 Stalkers and 1 Demon Skeleton here):

map


Follow this map to reach the next floor (Ghouls, Stalkers and Demon Skeletons here):

map


Now follow the next map (Ghouls, Stalkers, Monks and Demon Skeletons here, pick at the location where the line ends):

map


Now follow this map and go down (Scorpions, Ghouls, Stalkers, Witch, Ghost, Slimes, Monks, Demon Skeletons and possibly other creatures here):

map


Now follow this map (no creatures here):

map


Now get to the stairs located at the lightblue circle here (2 Giant Spiders here):

map


Now follow the final map (Ghosts on the way):

map


After you went down you will get to the place with The Queen of the Banshees. But watch out, there will be Stalkers, Ghosts and 4 Banshees here. See how to talk with her in the Banshee Queen quest guide.

Firlefanz

Now get to the pig for the last time and talk with it like this:

Chatlog
You: Hi
pig: Oink.
You: Kiss
pig: Do you want to try to release me with a kiss?
You: Yes
pig: Uhh. Ahh. Mhm. By the gods, you are really and truly the best kisser in the whole land. But ... I'm afraid I have to confess something ...
pig: There is no curse. I'm nothing than an ordinary pig that is able to speak by coincidence and loves to kiss. But your efforts shall not go unrewarded ...
pig: Of course I can't marry you - my mother would turn on her skewer. But I can tell you the hiding-place of some ancient sword ...
pig: Look in the basement of this farm. You should find a chest there containing the mighty Firlefanz.
You: Bye
pig: Bye.

Go to the basement of this building:

map


Take the Firlefanz from the chest.

map


Enjoy your loot!